he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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