i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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