Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So squirting runs in the family.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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