you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
