Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
