I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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