Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
