I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
