remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
