Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
