How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I deserve this hangover.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
