my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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