it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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