Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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