So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
