i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
