Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
