people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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