I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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