You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
