i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
