margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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