watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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