I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
