So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
