you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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