Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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