their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
