so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize