I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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