I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
