Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
