wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
