her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
