she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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