If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this boner is exhausting
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
