The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
