Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
