i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
