i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize