I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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