i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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