dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
