Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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