There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
