He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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