There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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