Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
