somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
