Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
