p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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