420 ftw
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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